Permission to Slow Down

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Today I woke up, made the bed, poured a cup of coffee, grabbed a couple cookies for my breakfast and headed outside. Roubidoux needed to make her morning piddle, so I decided to join her in the back yard. The weather has been just gorgeous – highs in the 90s, evening lows in the upper 60s. Haven’t had the air conditioning on since I arrived in Denver.

As I’m sitting in the chaise lounge sipping my cuppa joe, savoring the delectable double-chocolate-cherry-walnut cookies I whipped up last night, my thoughts turn to all the things I’d like to get done today. I start mentally ticking off everything I need to buy at the store: containers for the Element, screening for B’s back door, paint for my new sleeping platform. Oh yeah, what kind of paint do I need? Then my mind drifts to the YouTube videos we watched for constructing the platform. Should I go back and watch those again?  “Oh wow,” I sigh aloud. Then I remember, relax.

I take another sip of coffee and pull my arms out from under the straps of my night gown so as not to leave a tan line. I sit back, close my eyes and absorb the sun’s magnificent rays. I breathe deeply and begin to ground myself, hearing the words in my mind: Connect  with the center of the earth. Bring yourself down, down, down. Down into the richness of the earth. Down where the rubies, diamonds, and emeralds are manufactured. Connect with Mother Earth.

My mind’s chatter begins to slow…

But like a restless child just put down for a nap, up my mind pops with more questions. What about your new website? What about those newsletters? How are you going to make it out there on the road? Better hurry, girl. Better think of ways to make money!  Yet I’m still able to approach myself with compassion. As I would with the little girl who doesn’t quite yet want to fall asleep, I gently say to myself, “Shh, relax, drift off, let go.”

So I move into the second part of my meditation: Let yourself connect with the luminescent white light of the universe. Shift your conscious up, up, up. Up through the atmosphere, up through our solar system, up past the planets to the black velvet of space. Connect to the white light that is you. Roll your eyes up behind your closed lids, up the beam of light and connect.

Now my breathing has calmed. I’m focused on nothing but my relaxed state and the sensation of the warm sun on my skin. It is here I realize, even if I never got up off this chaise lounge, just showing up this morning in my night gown, coffee in hand, with a couple cookies – I am enough.  I can slow down. There is nothing else I HAVE to do, just be Kerrie.

So for today, just be you. 

Getting to Gone

Posted on by admin Posted in Detachment, Gratitude, Journey, Letting Go, Simplify | Leave a comment

Six days to the grand departure. Open road, here I come! But first, I have to lighten my load, squeeze all my stuff down to what will fit in my Honda Element, the Thule roof top box, and the garages of a few trusted friends. And wow, I have to admit, it’s kicking my butt! There’s nothing like shedding all your worldly possessions to bring up damned near every emotion known to man. Allow me to elaborate… 

First there’s joy, pure unadulterated joy at following your passion! The joy found only inside the freedom of choosing what lights you up. No obligations, no expectations, no worries. The joy that I’ve experienced by sharing my upcoming trip and the unspoken permission it has given others to pursue their heart’s delight makes my soul sing with glee. 

But it is hasn’t been all fun and excitement. Anxiety was quick on the heels of joy, much to my chagrin. It struck me without warning, sneaking up and bopping me over the head like a metaphysical whack-a-mole mallet. It often stops me in my tracks and forces me to breathe deeply, remember my commitment, and wade through the feelings. And just as quickly as it comes over me, thankfully it subsides. 

I’d be remiss, however, if I didn’t mention the waves of sadness that come and go too. As excited as I am to begin anew, no journey starts without another coming to a close. Therefore, I’ve spent many hours with friends, lovers, and alone, shedding tears, saying good byes, and honoring what we’ve shared inside sacred moments, secrets only our hearts can contain. 

And with the multicolored mixture of joy, anxiety, and sadness, comes a huge up-welling of gratitude. I stand in awe of the community I’ve immersed myself in during the span of seven years. Paths I’ve been allowed to cross, co-creators I’ve collaborated with, bonds that will never be broken. I’ve experienced the heights of ecstasy and the low belly-crawl of despair, yet I would not trade a minute of anything. I give praise and thanks for every single drop Las Vegas has provided. Each moment has led up to today, perfectly orchestrated in my awakening, and for that I will be eternally grateful!

Are you on the brink of something big, too? What challenges are you facing? What emotions are welling up inside you, spilling over, and making life its lovely, messy splendor? 

If you’d like a hand from someone who has been there, I’m not only starting a journey of epic proportions, I’m rolling out a new business adventure as well. If you’d like to taste-test my Life Coaching skills, leave a comment below or drop me a line over at kerrie.blazek@gmail.com and I’ll shoot you all the juicy details!