Okay, I Quit!

Have you ever noticed the most elegant solution often lies
in the quirkiest paradox?

Most days I feel pretty amazing – I’m happy, excited about
life, thankful for the opportunities I’ve been afforded – but occasionally, I
find myself in a slump.

Yesterday was one of those days.  It was cold and windy outside. I worked 7
hours, not my typical Saturday routine, and I was hankering for Taco Bell. After
work, I went shopping for new clothes, but couldn’t find anything worth buying.
I tried to sidestep my fast food cravings by visiting Jamba Juice, but they
didn’t have anything I wanted. In the end, I indulged in the Taco Bell 7-layer
burrito and came home to work on knitting a scarf. After getting out of my work
clothes and walking the dog, I dug out my knitting needles and the gorgeous yarn
I’d been saving for a special occasion.  Then I couldn’t decide on a pattern –
did I want to use the 9mm needles or the 15mm? Garter stitch or a ribbed
pattern? Wide scarf or a skinny one? I think I
ripped it out at least four times trying to decide on exactly what would please
me. And if that wasn’t fun enough, I was
also terribly bloated.  Not sure if it
was the Taco Bell or the cheese pizza I had the night before. However, I’m
starting to realize after the 21-day vegan challenge, dairy is not my friend. So
my usual calm easy-going demeanor was extremely out-of-sorts.

In the midst of this personal storm, I kept thinking: Kerrie you know better! Why are you
torturing yourself? Why aren’t you happy? Why are you beating yourself up?

I was wrestling with myself – thoughts tugging and tossing me to and fro – until I decided to just give up! That’s right, I surrendered. I decided grumpy and
bloated was the right way to feel on a cold and windy Vegas night. And after I
gave way to my feelings, I discovered it was worth my multiple re-starts in
order to have a scarf I would be thrilled to wear next weekend during my
travels. And I’m pleased to report, upon waking, my bloaty-tummy subsided.

Who knew giving up would provide me the space to emerge
victorious? Where do you need to surrender in order to succeed?

Posted on by admin Posted in Acceptance, Letting Go

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