Have you ever noticed the most elegant solution often lies
in the quirkiest paradox?
Most days I feel pretty amazing – I’m happy, excited about
life, thankful for the opportunities I’ve been afforded – but occasionally, I
find myself in a slump.
Yesterday was one of those days. It was cold and windy outside. I worked 7
hours, not my typical Saturday routine, and I was hankering for Taco Bell. After
work, I went shopping for new clothes, but couldn’t find anything worth buying.
I tried to sidestep my fast food cravings by visiting Jamba Juice, but they
didn’t have anything I wanted. In the end, I indulged in the Taco Bell 7-layer
burrito and came home to work on knitting a scarf. After getting out of my work
clothes and walking the dog, I dug out my knitting needles and the gorgeous yarn
I’d been saving for a special occasion. Then I couldn’t decide on a pattern –
did I want to use the 9mm needles or the 15mm? Garter stitch or a ribbed
pattern? Wide scarf or a skinny one? I think I
ripped it out at least four times trying to decide on exactly what would please
me. And if that wasn’t fun enough, I was
also terribly bloated. Not sure if it
was the Taco Bell or the cheese pizza I had the night before. However, I’m
starting to realize after the 21-day vegan challenge, dairy is not my friend. So
my usual calm easy-going demeanor was extremely out-of-sorts.
In the midst of this personal storm, I kept thinking: Kerrie you know better! Why are you
torturing yourself? Why aren’t you happy? Why are you beating yourself up?
I was wrestling with myself – thoughts tugging and tossing me to and fro – until I decided to just give up! That’s right, I surrendered. I decided grumpy and
bloated was the right way to feel on a cold and windy Vegas night. And after I
gave way to my feelings, I discovered it was worth my multiple re-starts in
order to have a scarf I would be thrilled to wear next weekend during my
travels. And I’m pleased to report, upon waking, my bloaty-tummy subsided.
Who knew giving up would provide me the space to emerge
victorious? Where do you need to surrender in order to succeed?